A Season for small things

In 2014 I had a serious health issue which lead to hospitalisation and triggered the panic attacks and severe anxiety I’ve suffered from all my life. That year I was hospitalised five times in a series of incidents that all linked into each other. The first was a fall in the street which led to a meniscus removal. The meniscus removal led to multiple blood clots in my lungs which triggered deep stress. At the same time I needed eye surgery and I was placed on antibiotics which raised my blood pressure to dangerous levels. All in all I spent a year being prodded and poked, having blood taken weekly, living on warfarin which meant changing my diet, not being able to run which elevated my stress even more and finally, the day I freaked out in a chemist with my heart hammering so hard a friend called the ambulance. I found myself in ambulance with screaming sirens hurtling down Vincent Street and was once again, in hospital for stress. It was also the year Isis tore through Syria beading people on global TV and my horrified addiction to watching bad news wasn’t helping me.

I retreated when I realised my stress levels were so high that I was walking sideways. I quit my job or rather it quit me when I one day, walked into my bosses and burst into tears. I went home and never went back. At home I created a sanctuary. I baked and wrote a cake blog. I did simple things. I went to the rose farm and picked roses for $25 a bucket. I needed peace and quiet and tiny things to focus on. I stopped watching the news. I slowed down my days to a snails pace. Slowly I came back to myself. At the time I called this period in my life “the season of small things.” In other words, a time when I made a commitment to stay present and take pleasure in the small things around me. Below are some of the photographs I took at the time.

This year, I’ve had a similar year. I firmly believe that when the body starts playing up, it’s telling you something. I’m back to my old levels of worry and stress. I’m overloaded with work and my body is telling me to step back. The world is in a mess. People are disconnected. It feels like 2014 again but this time on steroids. Everyone is screaming. In thinking about the small things I clung to during 2014, it boiled down to the following. Small rituals, like the perfect cup of tea, staying away from the news, creating, reading a book, practising small flashes of creative writing, short meditations, removing myself from noise and toxicity.

With my art, which is another story entirely, I wanted to reach people and build a community of connection based on beauty, ritual and creativity. I didn’t just want to sell paintings, although I do, instead I wanted a community. I am still figuring out what this offering is going to look like, but it will be in the form of a gift box containing mini art pieces, hopefully something to read and a few secret presents. I’m going back to the snail mail of keeping in touch. I’m rebelling against AI in a quiet way. I want to generate the excitement and anticipation of receiving the box and most of all I want us all to turn away from what is toxic and start finding the joy in simple things. If you are mildly curious, or downright interested, or would just like to stay in touch, please register your interest by completing the contact form on the home page. I won’t bombard you with emails. In fact I definitely won’t. I am seeking a quiet revolution. How about you? You can also follow me on instagram through the link on the website.